By Abby Rolland
What’s in a story? And are there aspects of motherhood that share similarities in the stories told?
Megan Williams, storyteller and author of One Bad Mother, shared that her answer to the first question is that there is a person telling the story and a person listening to it. The answer to the second is “yes.” It’s not an answer I would have understood before becoming a mother a little over a year ago.
Williams shared how her book initially concentrated on applying for the Philadelphia Police Academy but evolved to focus on motherhood and society’s expectations of mothers. As she shared her story, I could hear the murmurs in the room as mothers from all different backgrounds agreed to Williams’ truth: “This is hard.” As my colleague, Rachael, shared afterward, mothers with children aged 1 (me) to those aged 31 (my colleague, Jill) all found shared experiences in our motherhood stories. Are they exactly the same stories? No. But I don’t think that matters. What matters is that we can come together to empathize and express solidarity.
It makes me wonder – why aren’t we doing more of that? Sure, some social media influencers share motherhood as it is – tough, draining, exhilarating, exhausting, joyful, full of love. But others paint a picture of happy babies in cute outfits, taking posed pictures. While maybe that’s someone’s reality, I wonder if it would be better for all to recognize how hard it really is and to create spaces for us to come together to tell our stories and have others listen. It’s a space that Williams created by writing this book and bringing people together to talk about it.
In thinking about her choice of book title – One Bad Mother – it seems that Williams chose it to reflect how she felt about herself as a mother and why she decided to apply for the Police Academy. The moniker isn’t an accurate description of the mother she is, and it isn’t accurate for the many of us who are mothers but may think of ourselves as “bad” or “not doing enough.” Williams paints a story that every “bad” mother can see themself in, reflect on their experience, and realize that they’re not alone.
In a country where social media comparisons abound and society doesn’t optimize mothers’ health or well-being, we need spaces like Night Out With Meaning and stories like Williams’ to remind us that we have shared stories and experiences. They remind us that instead of “One Bad Mother,” we are “Many Good Mothers.”
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